What sort of impact are your words having on your team?
"The effectiveness of communication is not defined by the communication, but by the response". An incredible quote from Milton Erickson - one of the pioneers of NLP.
As a CEO, Founder, and Senior Executive, the language you use when communicating with you team has an even more profound impact on those around you than you understand. Your team tend to hang off EVERY word you say, and even how you say it. I get a chance to see this every time I am with all my clients and their Executive/Leadership Teams.
I am NOT suggesting that you be "perfect". However, based on what I see across my customer set, I thought I would offer some suggestions that are aimed at helping you hone what and how you say things to have an even more powerful impact on those around you.
I’d like you consider the scenario where you’re with your Executive team, either with someone like myself facilitating a discussion, or just you, yourself facilitating a discussion...
As you lead into the discussion, you’ll typically call for a range of perspectives or ideas to solve a problem or address an issue. Some of the responses you will like/love. Some you’ll feel a little ambivalent about. And others just won’t hit the mark or your expectations.
As the answers are offered up, I will often hear a CEO say to the respondent, "oh, that’s a great idea!" (typically when the response matches the idea or suggestion the CEO has in their mind), whilst other responses doesn’t get the same thankfulness, admiration, or excitement.
When the " that’s a great idea" response comes out, I get the chance to observe the reactions of others on the team. What I often see is a little bit of despair and deflation…not the motivation, challenge, and excitement you’re trying to induce.
So, I offer up a little suggestion when you’re leading a discussion or problem-solving session…
A simple standard response to anyone contributing to the discussion should be "Thank you". It’s pretty simple, vanilla. Ultimately, you want to simply be encouraging to those stepping into the discussion. A well-meant, earnest "thank you" has power.
Whether you agree with the idea/suggestion or not, stay CURIOUS, and ask a clarifying question or two, such as:
Why do you suggest that? Or
How did you come up with that? Or
What would be the outcome of doing that?
Etc
Drop the "that’s a great idea" response
There are occasions where you may personally have an answer in mind, yet genuinely want to seek alternatives or suggestions from your team. There is nothing wrong in saying, "I have a possibility in my mind, but really want to hear your ideas/suggestions/perspectives". BUT….be sure to stay open-minded and use steps points 1 and 2 from above.
Another little "out" you have when receiving suggestions that you think are way off-the-mark, is just to say a simple "Maybe", followed by points 2 a, b or c from above… Through this short process, you may actually avail yourself of new information or data to enhance your pre-determined idea.
Ultimately, this is about leveraging the collective intelligence of your team. If you have the answer already in your mind, you’re better off NOT wasting people’s time calling for suggestions. Don’t be disingenuous. Just tell them your views straight up!
And…in the context of the points above, I thought I’d remind you of my all-time favourite definition of a "leader". A leader is anyone that is able to get someone else to WANT to do what NEEDS to be done.
You can live this principle by approaching your team discussions as mentioned above. Not only will you have a greater impact on your team, you’ll be modelling a type of behaviour that your team will emulate. If you can have them approach their team sessions in the same way, imagine the impact across your business.
Normally I would encourage you to share this with your team (which I could still do), but the power of this will be realised when you PRACTICE this with your team :-)